journal 1

today i went to my dad's friends house to get out of the house. he ended up getting drunk and making racist jokes making me uncomfortable.

i met his wife's daughter and we talked for a while. she wasn't a bad person, i think maybe because she didn't grow up around him. she showed me pictures of roadkill and gorey skeletons she found while we were eating dinner, it was slightly uncomfortable, but only because of the preconcieved notion that it was inappropriate to do. later in the night we ended up taking some "sour puss" shots which were really, as you might expect, sour, but also really warm as they went down your throat. unusually warm compared to most shots i've ever had. we only ever had a couple that night, it wasn't enough to get drunk or tipsy off of, so we just had a good time. it was nice seeing someone irl for the first time in ages, i felt alive. i hope i can feel this way more, i had to act on my own and be myself in front of others, not behind a screen which has shaped me for a long time.

may 7th 2022